How to be a High Achiever
Hello!
I was reading an interesting book this week by Zig Ziglar. It is called "How to be a High Achiever", which he wrote in 1975.
In this book, he wrote about the 6 steps to becoming a high achiever and therefore becoming successful.
The 6 steps are:
1 Evaluate your self-image2 Improving
your relationships.3 Setting goals4 Adopt positive attitude5 Understand that success takes hard work6 A burning desire to excel
So let`s look at the first two steps bit more closely
1 Evaluate your self-image
Your self image is about how you view yourself. It is a crucial building block for success because it determines how
you perform. If you have a poor self image, you are likely to perform very differently than if you have a good self image. Other people will pick up on this, and it will affect how they view you too.
It is important to remember that your self-image starts and ends with you. Other
people can't make you feel bad about yourself unless you allow them to.What other people think about you is none of your business - yet so many people lives their lives, according to what they think other people will think. They are not authentic or true to themselves.
Improving your self-image isn’t only about taking better care
of yourself – it’s also about how you care for others. Spending time helping
people who need it creates an immediate sense of satisfaction and can serve as
a reminder to feel gratitude. This, in turn, improves the way you see yourself. A good tip is to spend a few minutes each day identifying at least 3 things that you are grateful for - it could be something that has happened that day, it could be something someone said to you, it could be simply being grateful for hearing the birds sing!
2 Improving
your relationships.
This is a huge area all by itself! Think about your relationships, that you have right now. Think about your partner, children, other family members, work colleagues, friends etc. Are they all as good as they can be? What can you do to improve them?
For example, it is so easy to develop a critical mind, and get irritated by the things that a person does or doesn`t do. If it is a partner, try stepping back and focus instead on what attracted you to your partner in the first place. What are their good points? Make a list and don`t stop until you have at least 10 points. Think about the early days of a relationship and what you both did together. What did you enjoy? What did you share? What did you laugh about? Perhaps you spent more time together? Perhaps you gave each other quality time together? How can you recreate that? Plan some time together, plan a surprise, get a babysitter in, if necessary. Start talking, start focussing on the other person, start listening to them.
What about people you spend a lot of time arguing with? It may be work colleagues that you are forced to spend time with, and you feel you do not see eye to eye. American game theorist Anatol Rapoport tried to
answer. He came up with a checklist for voicing disagreements, called Rapoport’s Rules. These four rules were
systematized by Daniel C. Dennett, a
philosopher who regarded them as the “best antidote” to the tendency to
caricature other people’s arguments.
Rule One states that you must attempt to
rephrase your partner/colleague’s position in your own words. Do it as clearly and fairly
as you can.
You want them to say, “Wow, I wish I’d put it like that.”
Rule Two says that you must list every
point of agreement between you and your conversation partner.
Rule Three suggests you should tell your
partner/colleague what you’ve learned from their argument.
Rule Four
states that you may voice disagreements only after you’ve gone through the
previous three rules.
The authors of How
to have Impossible Conversations, Peter Boghossian and James A Lindsay (2019) also suggest using so-called minimal encouragers. These are
small signals that discreetly inform the speaker you’re listening – things like
“Yeah,” “I see,” and “OK.
In addition, mirroring: when your partner says something, simply repeat the last two or
three words – but phrase them as a question. So, if they exclaim, “I’m just so sick and tired of people pushing everyone
around!” you’d reply, “Pushing everyone around?” The idea is to keep the person
talking so they offer more and more information.
The key messages are that: “Impossible” conversations
can be productive when they become collaborative., if you want to change someone’s mind, you have to listen to
them, and people are much more likely to accept “self-generated” ideas than messages
delivered by others
To Your Success !
